Super Fun Party People

Izzy put me back on a rigid schedule of medicine and meals and sleep. She toned down the dosage and we went back to sipping. Whenever I was awake Marco walked me out to the ship and roused whatever hands were available to help with repairs. Marco himself, though a terrible sailor, was an adept engineer and craftsman. He scaled the masts and checked over every inch of sail cloth himself. Elizabeth stripped the cracked and damaged fiberglass off the decking and put in replacement boards. She managed the laborers and kept a watchful eye on them when they were on my ship. Eventually I would have to replumb the showers and sink but for now was only working on the fridge. There was a nasty short I was tackling. After the third shock I was brought back up on deck.

Even with all the repairs, the bilge pump was working overtime and Elizabeth and her team spent hours bailing out the lower compartments. My ship was scarred and bleeding and I wasn’t able to take care of her. Someone else patched her. Someone else cared for her. My heart broke as I sat on the deck, wrapped like a burrito and watched as others handled my ship with alien hands.

“Captain,” Elizabeth came over to my sarcophagus. She was covered in pitch and dirt and bilge water…I was so jealous, “she’s all bailed out but we are still finding seepage. She won’t sink in the night but we’ll need more pitch tomorrow.”

“All this tar is going to slow her down,” I grumbled and patted the deck soothingly, as if my ship could tell how much I was hurting for her.

“Slow, maybe,” Elizabeth agreed, “but not sunk.”

“Not yet.” I got up and patted Elizabeth’s shoulder too. None of this was her fault. “Marco? I’m going to go find Zheng.” I winced as the crutch dug under my arm. I missed high density foam padding. No one would let me climb masts or wield heavy tools but they’d let me walk so I’d been walking everywhere at all times of the day.

Marco dropped the few feet from the mast and took up my slow pace. He’d lend me his shoulder if I asked but I wasn’t asking.

“Sails are coming along.” He dusted off his hands and I noticed a scratch along his palm. I grabbed it.

“What happened?” It looked like it had bled at first and I glanced back toward the sail to see if there was any blood on it as evidence to how badly he might be hurt.

“Awl just got me a little.” He laughed and pulled his hand back. “You are the one who got run through with a harpoon mere days ago.”

“Yeah, well we are out of Fountain. I’ll find something else for you to repair.”

“Annie, I can sew canvas with the best of them. Relax.”

“Your hands are filthy. You need soap.” I crutched myself faster towards Izzy’s and my tent. If anyone had soap, she did. “We can’t risk infection. Where is her soap?” I kicked her toiletry trunk closed and crutched toward the inland pools. The pristine bitch must be bathing again. Marco followed, chuckling as he watched me struggle over the uneven ground all for what amounted to a scratch on his hand. I couldn’t fix my ship but I could fix this.

Izzy was indeed at a small inland pool, freshly lathered and rinsed, a bucket of hygiene products situated in the soft sand surrounding the spring fed pool. A few pirates were down to their birthday suits and just playing in the water. Izzy was clearly voyeuring. I watched them myself for a second; it was an entrancing view. They weren’t too far into their 20’s I would wager, their muscles were tight and their energy high. The group of them was clearly showing off for Izzy who giggled like the shameless Catholic school girl she was. I rolled my eyes at her and buried my resentment deep before raiding her bucket of soaps and laves. Why get married at all if she was going to regard her vows so lightly? I’d brought her presents for her last wedding. I’d given her a gown and everything too. Such a waste.

“What?” Izzy made no bones about watching these naked men frolic. “I’m married, not dead.”

“After all that, you are going to blow your marriage on some random pirate?” I’d seen that look before. All of Mexico City had seen that look before.

“I know you just came back from the dead and your brains are probably scrambled and shit, but -- what the fuck did you just say to me?” she exclaimed as if I hadn’t lived with her and her revolving door of lovers for two years in college.

“If you can manage to rein in your hormones for a minute, Marco is hurt. He needs some soap and bandages. Which of this crap is antibacterial?” I unwound some of the miles of bandages from my arm that Izzy had done me up in. My darling sister tsked at my reduce, reuse, recycle efforts and finally managed to drag her eyes from her peep show to pay some attention to Marco’s hand.

“This?” She scoffed and put his hand back down. The two of them were laughing at me again. No, I did not like their camaraderie. Not even a tiny little bit. I grit my teeth and tore off a length of gauze. They both started protesting and calling me all sorts of names that did not mean smart or healthy. Then I had to bite back a hiss because my broken arm didn’t like my actions any more than Izzy or Marco did. I let them keep laughing at me. I was going to bandage his hand and that was that; Marco was too important to suffer harm. My pain was secondary when he was bleeding.

“You got shot in the shoulder and wouldn’t take antibiotics but I’m to drop everything to address this scratch? Fucking seriously?” She was in a mood. That was a vastly different set of circumstances. Here, we were out of Fountain and Marco was hurt and I was going to make sure he stayed…not hurt.

“Drop everything? What’s left to drop? Your nonexistent panties?” I found some soap and awkwardly tried to get some lather from it one handedly. Marco was zero help. He wanted to go play with the other neighborhood kids and written all over his face was a look that said I was the one being ridiculous.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” she asked like she wasn’t going to have to go back to our tent to change her panties after her beachside peepshow.

“Just go back to your porno.” I pulled my arm out of my sling. This one handed nonsense was for the birds. I only groaned a little at the pain but both of them overreacted again and moved me aside.

“Give me your hand, Marco,” she snipped. Honestly, they were both acting like children. Izzy quickly rinsed and wrapped him up then held his hand in front of my face. “Here. Kiss it and make it all better.”

I shoved them both away. They both laughed. No, I did not like them together at all.

“Do I get a lollipop or a sticker?” Marco teased me and ran, stripping his clothes off to join the other swimmers playing king of the mountain. His every muscle was familiar to me. He sported an interesting collection of scars that made him easier to watch. The other flawless young men would be terrified should any light shine on me. I shivered as I watched the sun play across his skin. Last time I saw you, you were in my bed. Under my sheets. Izzy might be onto something about sitting down and enjoying the view…just for a little while.

“Hey! Put on a loincloth or something!” Izzy shouted to Marco in the middle of the crowd of boys.

“Oh, now you’re a prude?” I groaned as I found my achy way down to the sand. Besides being sore, swollen, pained, and wanting to die I was doing much better than when the lightning struck.

“I don’t want to look at my freaking brother-in-law naked!”

“He’s not your brother-in-law. He’s your ex-brother-in-law.” There was no paperwork to confirm that or anything. He’d had many families since me. And yes, while I imagined those flawless young men would be terrified of me, I didn’t have to imagine Marco’s response. I knew it. He’d walked away from me after the burning. He’d helped me heal and then he’d left. How much more of a sign does one need to know a relationship is over? I traced over the turtle on my arm and saw the matching one on his arm. He looked really good. I remembered how he felt too…which was really good…every inch of him was…good.

“Sure, Anne.” I could hear her eye roll in every syllable. “He still feels like family and it’s weird.”

“He’s been married over and over again. I doubt he still considers us married. You are free to look.” I was looking. I wasn’t going to look away either. Marco splashed through the water and tackled some of the younger men, cheering and egging them on. He had a gift with people. He could use this gift for good or evil. Marco could unite an army or scam an audience, laughing the entire time. Right now he became the de facto umpire of some made up water sport where he was sure to bend the rules to gain him a win. The young men playing would owe him their shirts by morning.

“Nope. Nope. It’s weird. He’s ruining the best entertainment I’ve had in weeks. Sit with me.” Izzy tried to scooch me closer to her but my broken bones wouldn’t allow for scootching. “Oh, right.” She scootched herself to my side instead. “Here,” she handed me the joint she was working on, “pain medication.”

What the hell. It had been a while since I’d smoked. I took the joint. The boys began to really show off in the water now that their audience had grown. I took a deep inhalation of Izzy’s joint. It worked similar to my cup of medicine.

Zheng showed up not long after with an entourage of men who quickly stripped and joined the tournament. A tall one with beautifully defined abs shoved Marco off the largest rock and waved to me, flexing. I waved back before Marco leapt and tackled the man back into the pool.

“You gave her this?” Zheng plucked the joint from my hand and took a few puffs herself. “I only let her smoke when I’m really bored and need the entertainment. This one does not handle her high well.”

“Shut up. I do too.” I tried to hit her with my crutch but Zheng just laughed and motioned for some chaises to be brought. The boys in the water really began showing off now that their boss was here.

“It’s pain medication. I give her similar stuff on the ship,” Izzy said then frowned at the group of show off boys. “Tell your man to put some shorts on. He’s ruining my afternoon!” Izzy complained. “Great,” she sat down as if it were Gerta in the buff out there frolicking instead of Marco. Izzy’s young woman took up position by Izzy’s side.

“You are such an American.” Zheng took a deep inhalation and passed the joint back to me. My little temple family had lived in tight quarters. Nudity happened.

“He’s not my man. He’s Marco,” I retorted. I couldn’t look away from him. He looked good.

“Whatever,” Zheng scoffed. Izzy nodded her head as if this and the proper consumption of marijuana were the only two topics in the world these two would ever agree on. Neither of them knew anything. I know what he said/would say to me in that upstairs hallway in Avington but here and now that hadn’t happened and who the hell really knew when it would happen. Marco could be 50 years older than he is now.

Three chaises were brought to the sand for Izzy, myself, and Zheng. Zheng’s servant girls set up a fire pit in the middle and began preparing a meal and providing more smokable entertainment. Izzy offered her guard a seat but the woman declined, not wanting to seem delinquent in her duties with her boss right there.

Whatever was in that joint hit my blood stream like a wave of anesthesia. This must be what Izzy meant about pain medication. She was right. This was delicious. I relaxed back, finally able to take my first uncomplicated breath in weeks. Since my return to the land of the living a week ago I hadn’t done much besides tie myself into knots about my ship, my crew, and my broken body. With this “medication,” the pain from my injuries was still there but I didn’t care about them anymore. My shoulders left their position by my ears and I let the cushions hold me up.

The boys in the water were now divided into teams and someone introduced a ball and the game evolved into something resembling water polo. Zheng and I cheered for opposite teams and Izzy cheered anytime she got a full body shot of these young, hot pirates. Izzy’s young guard began massaging her feet. The young woman looked absolutely besotted with her charge. Great. Another wedding to plan. Maybe she’d just sleep with this one and not create a registry. Ha! That would be the day. My sister would NEVER forgo the chance to make a registry and wedding website complete with blog about every new detail.

Who would have thought that when Isabelle Elisabeth Deveraux St. Germaine was a first grader at Oxen Hills Preparatory, just 400 years earlier and across three oceans there was a small girl eating rats in the brothel where her mother was raising her to turn tricks for the master of the establishment. Fate would not be denied! Izzy and…that girl who’s name I forgot, met and decided to spend the rest of their lives selling pepper for an ex-warlord. Here they are now, pictured with their farm raised rats, prize collection of throwing knives, and an assortment of hand sanitizers in clay pots.

Their wedding website wrote itself. What would they register for? A donkey and a bale of hay? I started laughing out loud at the thought. The noise caught Marco’s attention and he grinned at me from the water. Damn, he looked good.

Plates of meat and vegetables were delivered to the three of us and no one was letting our cups go dry. Izzy looked to be in heaven. She was smiling and languid on her chaise. I knew the feeling. This is more how I pictured our original summer to go. Of course, I’d be less stabbed and broken and she’d be more corseted. But the possibilities and the wonder and the magic of this ancient world? Yes, that is what I’d wanted to show her.

Izzy liked to think that she was surrounded by locked doors she had to charm open. That all that could be done, had been done, and she was searching for cracks to squeeze into before they closed on her too. I had thought it would be nice for her to see that while the world changed on the surface, mostly people were always people. Add a few more years of education, some rocketships and shiny buildings, and the world was still the world; possibilities hadn’t fossilized with the invention of the bomb.

Then she went and got married. Talk about fossilizing.

This wasn’t the worst place to be as far as a runner up prize. So we didn’t have tiaras and castles, we had a nice beachside resort and good looking pirates who played in the water.

Zheng took inspiration from Circe when it came to designing her compounds; it was an easy place to lose yourself and stay lost. I knew this from many iterations of experience. I spent more time in her compounds than Heron’s Landing and the Hundred Acres combined. I stretched out and relaxed. Zheng’s compounds were a home away from home for me. It took Elizabeth swindling me in her “card game” to evict us last time.

Marco’s team lost and he left the water, dressed, and tried to sit next to me. I kicked out at his wet butt. He could sit on the sand. I did not want my comfortable chaise all soggy. Izzy didn’t seem to mind the sogginess. Amir (Izzy had forced me to learn his name) had been amongst the water polo players. This wet pirate guard got all cozy next to her and fed her bites of fruit and whispered in her ear. Izzy’s fiance, the girl guard massaging her feet, looked miffed.

Zheng started cackling and I looked over to see her watching the same show. I laughed too and took another delicious inhalation of my pain medication. I bet that bitch knew just what she was doing when she assigned my sister these two guards. Zheng missed reality tv with a passion. Here she’d recreated The Real Housewives of Circe’s Island. Amir started chiding the other young woman to back off, he’d done Izzy’s feet earlier. The young woman ordered him to go get Izzy a drink and, that if he had eyes, he would see that her drink was almost gone. Back and forth they went in a language Izzy didn’t understand until Zheng and I were almost on the floor, dying.

“Did you give her that?” Marco the narc-o asked Zheng, referencing the newly lit joint in my mouth. Marco was watching the party with far too sober eyes. There was no whiskey in his cup either. Where was his drink? Why were none of his future wives here concerned about filling his cup?

“Will you all just relax?” Worst bunch of nursemaids ever. Go to sleep, Anne. Eat, Anne. Stop breaking open your wounds, Anne. You suck at handling your high, Anne. They could all go to hell. I took another long drag and let the drugs comfort me.

“Our new resident Anne expert did.” Zheng blew smoke in my direction and beamed. “She’s doing fine so far.”

Marco poured a drink and didn’t say a word but his face radiated disbelief that I’d make it through the night. He could disbelieve whatever he wanted. We weren’t in that hallway yet. He was not my husband. He was other peoples’ husband. I took another drag to numb that pain.

The beautiful man with the beautiful abs brought me a plate of rice with vegetables. He hadn't put on a shirt and the view was lovely. He leaned close to my ear and whispered in a mix of Cantonese and Korean, “my name is Jae, Captain. I would be delighted to serve you.” The way he lingered on ‘serve’ was also beautiful. A lazy smile crept over my face and I felt heavy in that beautiful way that meant your muscles had finally surrendered holding up the world.

The evening was turning into quite a party. Zheng ordered her people in quick short barks and gestures and in addition to the firepit, there was soon meat cooking on sticks, a hookah, more friends, chaises, blankets, and drink. Hell, there was even entertainment. A few of Zheng’s captive dancers began an acrobatic routine dressed in nothing more than ribbons.

Elizabeth, Catherine, Catherine’s entourage of nannies, and the baby even came. Zheng brushed off her attendants and went to play in the sand with him. She cooed and sang him little songs and worked on a sandcastle with him. I asked Jae for a stronger drink. He delivered it.

“Drink up,” I toasted Marco, “you’re behind.” I drained my cup. Jae refilled it without asking. I thanked him. Those abs of his were sharp enough to cut myself on. The young man melted back into the scenery like the Cheshire cat’s smile.

“Just enjoying the show.” Marco eased his wet butt onto my chaise and carefully put my legs on his lap. The elevation felt nice on my injured knee. “Someone has to make sure you get home safe tonight.”

“And that’s you, is it?” I laid back and watched him. He grinned at me as he lightly rubbed my calves.

“Aye, aye, Captain Annie.” He could be such an ass. He could never let that name go. He was just trying to get a rise out of me…it was working.

I grinned right back at him, ready to make him pay and pay hard. “Don’t you dare –”

“Make me. I dare you.” He leaned in closer to tempt me into making good on my threat.

“Oh, maybe it's finally going to happen!” Izzy squealed and clapped her hands. My sister was not the quiet contemplative drunk type. Hell, they probably heard her all the way back in Bermuda.

“Izzy, don’t start,” I warned. Marco sat back, moment broken.

“Start, Izzy, start! Someone make popcorn quick,” Zheng clapped John Henry’s hands together until the exhausted toddler was hiccuping with laughter.

“I’ve had popcorn before! Delicious.” Catherine smiled at her son. Unlike Marco she had alcohol in her cup. I liked Catie more and more everyday.

“What? You’re married, kissing husbands is allowed. And more, even,” Izzy needled me.

“Not my husband.” My husband was in Bermuda. My family was in Bermuda. They were waiting for me and I’d never come home.

Izzy looked at Marco and gestured to him to back her up but he just shrugged. “You heard the woman.” He found my joint and took a drag. He did not share.

Graham would have been right next to me pouring me another shot and whispering about our possible escape routes into my ear. Marco put his hands on my legs again and the light touch eased the vertigo. It was nice he was here. His hands felt nice. It had been a while since anyone had been effortless like that with me.

The smoke from the cookfire swirled through my mind and mixed with the smoke from Izzy’s joint. For a moment both men sat side by side, Marco and Graham, wondering if I’d ever choose them. I looked away and stared into my cup instead, lost for a moment back at the Hundred Acres by a bonfire with a lion maned man and his family. I sipped. I heard laughter that belonged to impossible voices. Saw impossible faces dancing and giving toasts.

Why is this not enough? Why can’t I be enough? Let it be enough, Nan. Damn it all. Be with me! Be my wife!

Helene started laughing and got up to join the players onstage. She was an excellent Henry V. Angelica sat sauced to hell in the audience, heckling her friend to the delight of all around.

“My sister is full of denials. Changes nothing.” Izzy went back to flirting with her servants. Mary and Davies started dancing. Their children ran to and fro. Dom, Magnus, and Henry were down by the shore throwing rocks into the water.

“They both are. I say lock them in a room and don’t let them come out till we hear some good grunting noises. Right Johnny Henry? Right?” Zheng cuddled the little boy on her lap as he yawned. 

Magnus had looked similar to him as a baby. They’d all been so sick. Eternity existed between one feverish breath and the next. I held him so Helene could sleep. She’d only just given birth and now she was lying in her bed, feverish and on the verge of death. I had to have faith the medicine would work as well here as it did in the 21st.

“Don’t listen to them, John Henry. They are just being assholes.” I relaxed back. My head was swimming, swirling from one party to another. Yvonne wound around the pirates and dancers, blowing smoke and brokering deals. “I never realized how similar these two bitches are.” I closed my eyes and tried to steady my mind. I couldn’t be miles away. I needed to be right here.

“You take that back!” Zheng screeched and I flipped her off, keeping my eyes closed. The world kept spinning even in my own personal darkness.

“I can really see it now. Look at them. Two peas in a pod. Same taste in drugs and sisters.” Marco needled the bitches back. We both chuckled. I’d forgotten how nice it felt to have him at my back. I opened my eyes and joined the fray.

“It’s cute. They’ve come such a long way. They started out as being fussy little bitches and now…huh. Maybe they haven’t come far at all.” He and I laughed as Izzy and Zheng delivered us all manner of rude gestures.

“At least we’ve come in the last decade. How’s that bed of yours? Nice and frosty just like you like it?” Zheng returned my volley.

Izzy hopped right onboard Zheng’s train, “And dry. And devoid of all human contact. I mean, my god Anne, do you even touch yourself?!” Izzy, ever the classy broad. Thank god Amir shoved more rambutan in her mouth to shut her up.

“Oh my goodness, Isabelle…” Catherine looked me over before she could help herself, picturing me in my cabin amusing myself. I’m sure it wasn’t an image she wanted. Elizabeth on the other hand was loving this conversation. She was high as a kite and hanging on every word.

“Fuck you both.” What I did in my cabin was up to me. The bitches just laughed harder.

“Marco, just fuck her already. She needs it.” Zheng drank deep from her cup.

“Stop.” Marco’s voice cut through their shrill tones. He was done playing this game and so was I. I shifted my legs off him when he tried to relax back. He and I were playing with fire and it was time to stop.

In private, our little touches and jokes were understood between us in our own little bubble. Out in the open with an audience, our relationship would resemble an airport runway, the two of us ready for take off. Marco had made it clear the night after the dinner party that this was not a trip where we would be intimate. He needed to take it easy and so did I. I’d been treating him like he was still that man I knew in the temple but he was anything but that now. And so was I. He’d had plenty of marriages and families, sailed with that rat bastard thief, and traveled the world running cons and getting into who knows what and getting into plenty of people I didn’t care to know about.

Zheng went back to singing rhyming songs to a dozing John Henry while Catherine and Izzy struck up a conversation about England. I turned to find another drink only to find Jae there with a full cup and a bowl of noodles. He had a wonderful smile. I accepted both of his offerings.

“You’ve had enough, Annie.” Marco’s voice had a new edge to it.

“Don’t call me Annie.” I smiled at Jae. Right at this moment, I was not in pain. My injuries felt minor and distant. Everyone had kept me resting. The threat of the secondary measures had retreated and, just now, I considered what it might feel like to sit a bit closer to a strong male body. Marco wasn’t willing but this Jae…he was beautiful and he was already close…

“Let’s go back to the tent. I’m getting tired of this,” Marco interrupted my thoughts.

“You can go to bed.” Jae brought me a steamed bun alongside a fantasy of his lips closer to mine.

“I’m getting you home safe tonight,” Marco interrupted again.

“Where is your bed? I know you’ve got one. Maybe you sleep there tonight.” Him at my bedside was sending the wrong message to Izzy. I was doing far better than when I first arrived. I didn’t need as much assistance up and down. It was probably time for him to move back to his tent. I didn’t like the idea but it was safer that way.

“Are you going to make me sleep alone?” he asked.

“Probably time,” I regretted the words as I said them. I felt colder already. “I’ve been –”

“How long does it take to sail from here to England, Anne?” Izzy interrupted. Thank god. I didn’t want to continue that conversation with Marco. What had she asked? How could she get to England?

“Four hundred years and a direct flight to Heathrow.” I laughed.

“What? No, I mean from China to England. Have you ever done it?”

“On plain water? Gah, not if I can avoid it.” The only time I’d ever done such journeys were when I had multiple short hops to African ports for Zheng or when Maui and I had sailed together. He and I were magic on the water.

Remember the shark?

Which one?

We could sail faster than the portal.

We’d often forgo the portal when it was just the two of us. We laughed at Time and Distance as leagues vanished 

beneath our hull and the sunrise bled into the stars.

“Oh. I hadn’t thought about that.” Izzy’s voice brought me back from the endless Pacific waters. “The special way, then,” she finished.

“Depends on the conditions in the portal. Hard to tell till you’re inside. Got to know the year. The location. The “why” about why we would go to England. Beruck,” I spat just as Little Jean had taught me. Elizabeth spat too and we toasted each other. Catherine raised her glass with us but possessed much poise to spit.

“That’s not funny, Anne,” Izzy reprimanded me. I rolled my eyes.

“What’s not funny? I think it’s funny. John Henry thinks it’s funny.” I reached over and tickled his little belly.

“Well Catherine and I don’t!” she yelled. I looked at Catherine who quickly looked away. What had upset Izzy now? We were in the middle of a party and she literally had servants washing her feet and feeding her grapes. “You know perfectly well why I need to go to England.” She flipped me off with her ring finger that sported the giant diamond I’d sat in prison in the Canary Islands for.

“What?” I asked. Go to England? Where had this come from? “What are you talking about? We already talked about this.” She knew we were changing those plans. She hadn't brought England up since that discussion. She had made peace with it…I thought.

“Exactly. When you promised to take me. ‘Just name a date!’” She looked at me like I was our mother telling her she couldn’t have a cupcake for dinner till she finished her peas. I had no idea what she was talking about either. 

Name what date? When had I promised her a date?

“No. When I woke up after pirates stabbed a hole in my chest and we both agreed this time was too dangerous for you. That when the ship is fixed you are going home.” She could flash her ring, I could flash my sucking chest wound.

“What?! Are you delirious? I never agreed to going home!” The party tensed all around her as she screamed at me.

“Well, that’s where we are going.”

“No!” Izzy jumped to her feet. “I am not going home!” Her guards attempted to calm her, they looked nervously between Izzy, me, and Zheng, who had just transferred John Henry back to Catherine. One did not yell at Her Excellency’s people in Her Excellency’s compound. It was not done. There would be punishments. I didn’t care to see these people punished for Izzy’s temper. I’d witnessed firsthand what Zheng was capable of. There was also the small matter of Zheng being slightly overprotective of me and overreacting when I was hurt.

“Not yet. I can’t sail yet. Vacation isn’t over,” I attempted to calm her. There were still a few weeks left before I could raise the sail myself. If Mo got here sooner with Fountain, we could move that timing up, but for now, she could continue enjoying herself as she had been.

“So I’m just going home, no matter what I want? You’re just going to kidnap me?! Again!” she screamed. She literally, honest-to-god toddler-tantrum screamed because I told her she had to eat her peas. “Fucking great!”

Zheng’s people began to clear out, wanting no part of what was happening. I envied them their freedom tonight.

“Oh come on, Izzy. It’s not like that and you know it. Going home is the right choice. I can’t go back and stop myself from taking you, but I can get you back where you belong.” Between the drugs, alcohol, blurred boundaries, and throbbing injuries, I was losing my grip on my own temper. At home, Izzy might rage against Anne St. Germaine. Here, The Bitch Captain of the Seven Seas was not addressed with such venom.

“I cannot believe you are doing this shit to me again. I say where I belong! It’s my choice!” she continued to rage. My body absorbed her octaves and twitched as if in the middle of an attack.

“You made me vow to take you home. That was your choice. That is where you are going. Sit back down and take that drink your girlfriend is offering you and let these people enjoy their night.” What was left of it. I felt down the thin scar on my hand, the same one that Izzy wore, and remembered swearing on the Fountain and the portal that she would get home. That was what she wanted. That was what I vowed to do. Izzy would get home and get her home safely.

My sister took the drink but not her seat. “Speaking of vows, you might remember that I made some. To my husband. Not that I would expect a little thing like ‘husbands’ or ‘marriage vows’ to mean anything to you.” Her gaze landed squarely on Marco…then shifted to Jae. She was a toddler. A baby. She thought she could play with the big girls? She thought she knew anything? She didn’t.

“Spend more than a weekend being married and maybe you’ll learn.” I should have let Marco take me back to my tent.

“What the fuck do you think I’m trying to do, going to England?! I’m trying to reunite with my husband goddamn it!” she yelled. I was done being yelled at. Done. Her slaves might treat her with kid gloves but I was not her servant.

“You’ll find someone else back home. You can make a marriage happen with anyone back in the 21st. Ian is a ghost and you are not. It could never work.” Some ravines were too vast to bridge. Graham stared at me from across the fire. Darling, say yes.

“I’ll find someone else? Back home? Are you fucking kidding me?! I love Ian!” she shouted. Only the stalwarts were left in the vicinity now. “I’m not you. I’m not going to just fall in love with someone else like my first husband doesn’t exist when he’s out there waiting for me!”

I trip up and let one secret, one sacred piece of information slip, and she sharpens it into a shiv and stabs me with it. She learns that once upon a time Marco and I were committed to each other and now it was fair game to call me a slut because I dared to fall in love again when it didn’t work out with him.

I’ve lost control of myself only a very few times in this life. Never with Izzy. My parents took me to see her in the hospital after the car accident that stole her parents away. My whole life, it seemed, was bent around not harming her. This moment here on the beach…I had no reserves. Everything hurt too much. My body was recovering. My heart didn't know what to do about Marco and Graham. The portal called for me, begging me to come back, begging me to return Izzy. Mo hunted for my soul. Even now he was packing for the journey here. And my sister was screaming at me, all my nightmares come to life in her words.

I lunged.

Everyone jumped to protect Izzy. Her guards took positions in front of her. Marco and Jae and Zheng worked to restrain me from tearing the heart out of my darling sister who I’d sworn to protect and do my best by and who was now calling me a “Fucking psycho!” and other heartwarming names. I’d done everything I could for her, including walking her down the aisle, yet she was allowed to set fire to my person and my values and call me a Fucking Psycho for it.

They all agreed with her too. It was me who needed restraint. As injured as I was, it was me who was the danger here. She was the innocent. Zheng ordered us separated and Marco drew the short straw to take me back to my tent.

I shook him off and scraped together what little dignity was left to me and walked on my own. Marco’s footsteps tread heavy behind me and my crutch but I didn’t turn.

“Let me help. You are going to fall.” Marco overtook me and stood in my way. Too close. If he didn’t back up I was going to hit him or cry.

“Let me be. Just go back to the party. Let me be.” Why did my voice have to catch and halt like that when I was trying to seem fine and alright.

“She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. You and I both know –” he tried to hold my shoulder but I shook him away. “Andrews loved you and I owe him more than I can –”

“Worry about your own affairs and leave me to mine.” He’d certainly had enough of them. Izzy hated my relationship with Graham and hated me for it too. I couldn’t bear to hear Marco speak his name. This night was awful. Everything was awful. I should have stayed dead. They should never have used that much Fountain on me. Everything sucked.

“I don’t get to care about you at all? Is that it?” He went ahead and grabbed my shoulders tightly. Dammit Nan, let me hold on to you for a fucking moment! I shoved Marco off of me and Graham out of my head. In Graham’s timeline that moment had only been months ago. I should have let him hold me. I should have – stop. It’s over. Be here.

“That’s it.” I spat back at him.

“Annie –”

I was done with this. I was never telling Izzy any of my business ever again. Marco didn’t have to care for me. He wasn’t my man. I’d prove it to him. I’d prove it to all of them. I threw the crutch down and marched back to the fire pit. My knee hurt but fuck it. Jae was still there. Perfect. I marched through Zheng’s sandcastle (“hey!”) and grabbed Jae by his open banyan.

“You. Do you have sex with women?” I asked him.

“Yes, Captain.” He replied, eyes wide and suddenly excited.

I hesitated only a moment. Marco was mere paces behind me. Jae’s lips parted in expectation inches from mine – he was different, he was new, he had no idea the mess of a person right in front of him – I kissed him.

His lips accepted me and welcomed me. His arms – I didn’t know his arms, but they were young and strong and curled me into him. It wasn’t what I expected but it wasn’t unpleasant. It wasn’t Graham. It wasn’t Marco. No one would call my bed frosty any more. They’d all leave me alone. Jae’s hand stroked down my cheek, my neck, lingered for a moment, before slipping just under my wrap shirt.

Different.

His touch was different. His hands were different. How he smelled, how he stood, his lips…different. He was new and I was new with him. His finger circled my nipple and the sensitive skin stiffened at the touch. He smiled and whispered in my ear, “May I go further, Captain?”

I was ready for different. Zheng tugged at my pant leg and I looked away from Jae to see her offering me another joint. I took it, took a long inhalation…then another, and handed it back. The haze from earlier had just been hiding, it all came steaming through my blood and I was smiling because smiling didn’t feel like work for once.

“Let’s go to my ship,” I told him. Jae beamed at me and reached to take my crutch from Marco. Together we made our way to the Try Your Luck where I welcomed him aboard.